G.A.Y Dangerous EP4 pt 1 –Bruise Willies, Clerk Can’t, Tonee Stuck, Peter Faber-Castell , Bruise Vain, Bruise Li, Britney Swords, Hugh Jassman , Daniel Craigkey, Berak Osama, Alan D. Generous, James Bonita
Yengzai got to interview some famous celebrities. *words in capital have a parody behind it, do try to spot it! All the celeb names are parodies themselves*
Celeb 1 - Bruise Willies
Yengzai : You survived from DYING HARDLY 3 times, PERFECT RANGERS and SURROGACY , no matter how bad the incident, how do you survive?
Bruise : Ah, all in a day’s work, chum. I survive by intimidating the thing thats gonna kill me. For example, before i jump out of a burning building and into the water, i swear at them.Yes, you heard me. ‘Burn me if you can, dimwit fire! you do, i’m gonna fcking murder you!’ ‘Dammit glass! If you cut me, i’ll make sure i’ll smash you SOOOO small , you’ll be making greenhouses for ants!’ ‘If you even try to drown me, i’ll get the whole Hollywood to shit in ya !’ However, the public thinks i’m immortal, after surviving DYING HARDLY 3 times, but what you all don’t know is, i have an injury that will change the way the worlds see me. But for me to reveal that to you, turn off that tape recorder.
*yengzai pretends to turn it off (sei kan chan)*
Yengzai : ok, Bruise. I see you as a legendary action hero, total badass and can beat anyone up who dares call you old. Whats the secret?
Bruise : I have a bruised willie
Yengzai : Ouchie. Whats a willie?
Bruise: you donwanna know
=.= ||
Celeb 2- Clerk Can’t
Yengzai : How does it feel to be the MAN OF LEAD, SUPERLAD ?
Clerk : I can‘t do it man, i just can’t. It’s too scary, the stunts and all, man.
Yengzai : Why? You’re an actor that kids look up to to save the world and crap !
Clerk : I look fat in tights. And come on, red underwear? Not cool man. Why can’t they give me an awesome underwear design, like rockets or Ben 10? That’s like the most awesome thing, man. Ugh, like don’t get me started on my powers man. Heat Vision? What do i do with it, cook instant noodles or something? Freezing Breath? Invulnerbility ? Super Speed? Supersonic Hearing? what do they think i am, a combo meal ? they mix up the best of other superheros and mash them up into SUPERLAD? Not cool man, not cool.
Yenzai : *thinks to himself* superman was never cool. maybe, 30 years ago? Poor, stupid Ah Qua.got conned into acting. SUPERLAD was meant more as an insult than a ‘cool’ thing. haizzz
Clerk : Whats that ? now i can read minds too? Dammit man, dammit ! Curse you STANLEY !
Celeb 3- Tonee Stuck
Yengzai : So you’re the famous brains behind Stuck Industries and the true identity of METAL MAN. Why is your name spelt as Tonee and not Tony?
Tonee : *Ah Qua style, flapping his hand like one too.* Like, Tony is soooo last year, you know? Tonee is all the rage now. Ah, everyone is soooo jealous of my name,im like soooo happy you know?
Yengzai : *going to vomit liao* Uh, what does Stuck Industries do anyways?
Tonee : *STILL Ah Qua* Ohhhhh. Everything here and there....you know, the works, the needs. ‘STUCK’ is the word. From everything from sticky notes to super glue, anything you want !
Yengzai : Thats lame.How you get to become a celebrity in the first place?
Tonee : *blushes and flap hands and bats eyebrows* Haiya, we produce some things for special people with special needs maaaa
Yengzai : Like?
Tonee : paiseh la. here so public, where can tell?
Yengzai : Sei Na Pek
Tonee : *slaps hand on laps and bats eyebrows furiously and pouts lips.he's like supah gay,man * i make g-strings for men
Yengzai : tahan vomit very long edi, cant hold back anymore. bllllleeeeccccckkkkkchchchchhh *ack*
Friday, April 9, 2010
What country names remind me of
Something your grandmother collects and will kill you if you break it
Its the start of a very bad joke. A GERManD technician..............
They stole the names of foods that don’t even originate there
Where
When
Unfortunately, Erica the monkey misunderstood him and introduced itself:
I am Erica
If it we’re made into a T-shirt, the Os will be right at the boobs and it says ‘hi’ in the middle.
With all the 1 <3>
Something Apple invented. Remember, Ipod, Ipad, Iphone,
Monday, February 8, 2010
I < 3 my school.how "sensible" can they get?
ah...school rules.Can't live with them,can't live without them ( PUI ! ).Some rules should be obeyed ,but most, live it to break it.Not because we're bad students,it's because it doesn't make any sense.Sometimes i want to give the teacher a slap asking : DO YOU HAVE ANY FCKING IDEA AT ALL WHAT THE FCKING HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT !!?? *eh hem* *coughs*
First off, banning of coloured contact lenses.
But, non-coloured is allowed. WHYYY ??!! bcoz its against the skool rulz lor. WHYYYYY ??!! *it's one of the secrets of the universe that cannot be revealed.* Here's a theory.Our teachers have been watching too much anime.They somehow believe that wearing coloured contacts will make students inherit the kekegenkai of the Hyuuga and Uchiha clan,giving them special powers like Sharingan and Byakkugan.In turn,the students will use this 'powers' to make new jutsu like Tsukuyomi , Reikei , 8 Trigrams 64 Palms , Ameterasu , Kaiten and everything which will shift the balance of power so the students can destroy the school.I believe this.100%.really.DAMN HIGH possibility of happening.
HAIR.
Can't wax, can't gel, can't be long, can't dye, can't botak either.
This is pure stereotyping and sexism. What do they have against our hair? It's not like it violates national security or anything.For all you know, they're gonna control our armpit hair too.....
"angkat tangan check ketiak"
"bulu ketiak panjang.pigi tengok Guru Besar.Kasi Potong bagi you."
ew....
now imagine a yam hai face, yam hai smile and yam hai eyes cheking for you
ew-er....
then,imagine if you're a girl
*faints*
back to topic.Some say having styled hair is not neat.What has my neatness got to do with you? And who are you to judge im not neat? Like your ngong gui nerd hairstyle is neat la.Some say it will damage the school's reputation.For what? busy-bodying over other people's hair?If thats not the reason, then its the stereotyping.Just like blondes are sluts, Muslims are terrorists, all muscular black guys are ex-cons and all Texas citizens cant talk straight.You see, we get angry if we're stereotyped.It's not fair.But.thats what we're putting up with.Everyone thinks if you have a punky hairstyle, you're involved with bad things.Like smoking, illegal racing, vice, drug dealings and all that.You see, in the first class of our school we have 10 styled hair students.We do our homework, we're polite to teachers, we help old ladies cross the road and we volunteer at orphanages to do their laundry. Teachers want to supress our creativity.Styling your hair is an expression of yourself.In the form of styling hair.
*ignore the above.i'm being senseless*
i hate it when the teachers go like this...
"HA? U DIS KIND OF HAIR CAN GO IN FIRST CLASS?!"
Next, no short pants. I understand the imposing of this rule on girls,but still....COME ON ! FOR BOYS ?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?! i have a suspicion that our female teachers are pedos....looking at sexy young boys' lengs....ewww.Only hamsap people will say something that's not very hamsap and turn it into something that society looks down and frown upon.seriously.WHAT HAVE THE GOT AGAINST SHORTS ?! *too much simpsons. Bart : "eat my shorts !"*
Speaking of pants.I freaking dulan that we can't bring stationaries to school.But, don't we need pens and pencils to write and all?nope.the school wants us to be superhuman.we are trained so that just by thinking,words appear on paper.Back to the point.
can't bring metal ruler.
-ok.....my metal ruler got rampas by the pengawas.I just don't get it.so i asked him : WHYYYYY??! he said: because you can't bring this to school. me: WHYYYY???!!! him : *no answer*. see? our schools decide to rampas your stuff.For fun.They seem to enjoy it.And its senseless.Some will say , the metal ruler is sharp, can be used as weapon, bla blahh.....*claps**clap* WOW ! I DIDN"T THINK OF THAT ! IT'S SUUUUCCCHHH A GOOD UNDENIABLE REASON.
obviously,that guy haven't met me yet.I'm a freaking ninja ,man.WEAPONS? ok, might as well rampas my pens and pencils. Can poke people eye ma.don't forget my books.They're hard and thick, can be used to pok people's head off.some skill patricioners in the art of book-kung-fu can even use it to slap. Hey, take my pants too. it can strangle my enemies. And uh, tables and chairs, forks, plates, chalk,blackboard,thumbtacks even the innocent drinking straw.We're being treated like prisoners. Come on. We are orang yang bertamadun. CIVILIZED. our education systems however thinks of us as cavemen.
Can't sit at anjung
lets get this straight.we can't walk on the corridor during recess, nor the padang ,nor the anjungs nor the stairwells, nor bilik guru ,nor the remote places in school.(e.g. surau, generator, bilik kebal , weather station etc. ) or even our own class.okay, why not just stuff 1.5k people in the canteen.I don't know about you,but i can't think of anywhere else that we are allowed in school.It's a great excuse to ponteng :
"cikgu, skolah mana pun kawasan larangan.Lebih baik aku pigi cc.sama markah penalti je.skolah pun kawasan larangan, cc juga sama"
maybe they want to push us until we learn how to fly.
First off, banning of coloured contact lenses.
But, non-coloured is allowed. WHYYY ??!! bcoz its against the skool rulz lor. WHYYYYY ??!! *it's one of the secrets of the universe that cannot be revealed.* Here's a theory.Our teachers have been watching too much anime.They somehow believe that wearing coloured contacts will make students inherit the kekegenkai of the Hyuuga and Uchiha clan,giving them special powers like Sharingan and Byakkugan.In turn,the students will use this 'powers' to make new jutsu like Tsukuyomi , Reikei , 8 Trigrams 64 Palms , Ameterasu , Kaiten and everything which will shift the balance of power so the students can destroy the school.I believe this.100%.really.DAMN HIGH possibility of happening.
HAIR.
Can't wax, can't gel, can't be long, can't dye, can't botak either.
This is pure stereotyping and sexism. What do they have against our hair? It's not like it violates national security or anything.For all you know, they're gonna control our armpit hair too.....
"angkat tangan check ketiak"
"bulu ketiak panjang.pigi tengok Guru Besar.Kasi Potong bagi you."
ew....
now imagine a yam hai face, yam hai smile and yam hai eyes cheking for you
ew-er....
then,imagine if you're a girl
*faints*
back to topic.Some say having styled hair is not neat.What has my neatness got to do with you? And who are you to judge im not neat? Like your ngong gui nerd hairstyle is neat la.Some say it will damage the school's reputation.For what? busy-bodying over other people's hair?If thats not the reason, then its the stereotyping.Just like blondes are sluts, Muslims are terrorists, all muscular black guys are ex-cons and all Texas citizens cant talk straight.You see, we get angry if we're stereotyped.It's not fair.But.thats what we're putting up with.Everyone thinks if you have a punky hairstyle, you're involved with bad things.Like smoking, illegal racing, vice, drug dealings and all that.You see, in the first class of our school we have 10 styled hair students.We do our homework, we're polite to teachers, we help old ladies cross the road and we volunteer at orphanages to do their laundry. Teachers want to supress our creativity.Styling your hair is an expression of yourself.In the form of styling hair.
*ignore the above.i'm being senseless*
i hate it when the teachers go like this...
"HA? U DIS KIND OF HAIR CAN GO IN FIRST CLASS?!"
Next, no short pants. I understand the imposing of this rule on girls,but still....COME ON ! FOR BOYS ?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?! i have a suspicion that our female teachers are pedos....looking at sexy young boys' lengs....ewww.Only hamsap people will say something that's not very hamsap and turn it into something that society looks down and frown upon.seriously.WHAT HAVE THE GOT AGAINST SHORTS ?! *too much simpsons. Bart : "eat my shorts !"*
Speaking of pants.I freaking dulan that we can't bring stationaries to school.But, don't we need pens and pencils to write and all?nope.the school wants us to be superhuman.we are trained so that just by thinking,words appear on paper.Back to the point.
can't bring metal ruler.
-ok.....my metal ruler got rampas by the pengawas.I just don't get it.so i asked him : WHYYYYY??! he said: because you can't bring this to school. me: WHYYYY???!!! him : *no answer*. see? our schools decide to rampas your stuff.For fun.They seem to enjoy it.And its senseless.Some will say , the metal ruler is sharp, can be used as weapon, bla blahh.....*claps**clap* WOW ! I DIDN"T THINK OF THAT ! IT'S SUUUUCCCHHH A GOOD UNDENIABLE REASON.
obviously,that guy haven't met me yet.I'm a freaking ninja ,man.WEAPONS? ok, might as well rampas my pens and pencils. Can poke people eye ma.don't forget my books.They're hard and thick, can be used to pok people's head off.some skill patricioners in the art of book-kung-fu can even use it to slap. Hey, take my pants too. it can strangle my enemies. And uh, tables and chairs, forks, plates, chalk,blackboard,thumbtacks even the innocent drinking straw.We're being treated like prisoners. Come on. We are orang yang bertamadun. CIVILIZED. our education systems however thinks of us as cavemen.
Can't sit at anjung
lets get this straight.we can't walk on the corridor during recess, nor the padang ,nor the anjungs nor the stairwells, nor bilik guru ,nor the remote places in school.(e.g. surau, generator, bilik kebal , weather station etc. ) or even our own class.okay, why not just stuff 1.5k people in the canteen.I don't know about you,but i can't think of anywhere else that we are allowed in school.It's a great excuse to ponteng :
"cikgu, skolah mana pun kawasan larangan.Lebih baik aku pigi cc.sama markah penalti je.skolah pun kawasan larangan, cc juga sama"
maybe they want to push us until we learn how to fly.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Malaysia to export tv shows to South Korea
I think we have pretty creative people in the entertainment industry
and I'm sure we'd be able to come up with something that Koreans would like.
Besides, how difficult is it to write a storyline to cater for Korean tastes anyway?
All you need to do is make sure someone cries every 5 minutes
The hardest part, I think, is finding the type of actors that Koreans would enjoy watching.
We all know that Koreans are very used to their male actors looking like sissy girls and their female actresses looking like ghosts.
Finding suitable actors for the job in Malaysia is definitely not gonna be easy.
Surely, it is not gonna work if our version of Winter Sonata looks like this.
-douche bag-
Friday, February 5, 2010
G.A.Y Dangerous- GAY HUNT ! EP 3
after tohsui made his famous faceplant on the reporters,urhm, parts...he went screaming back to the news center
**EVENING NEWS**
this just in on TDKBernama,there's a gay molester on the loose, even to the extent of groping one of our reporters.we advise the public to be careful of this predator. HE IS GAY AND DANGEROUS.his true identity is not yet known.we advise all citizens to be careful.
**Picture of Tohsui on one of his tohsui days and words saying GAY & DANGEROUS.BEWARE! **
yengzai and tohsui at tohsui's house.
Yengzai : wow, tohsui,looks like you have to change your name and disfigure your face by putting fireworks up your nose or something.how you see people like this?
Sozai : what is molester? y news got wan?
Yengzai : like your good korkor tohsui, good looking, nice , smart, kind, ma call molester lor.
Sozai : i wan be molester oso ! so i can be on the news and everyone look up to me !
Tohsui : ....not funny guys.
** SPECIAL NEWS UPDATE **
{guest star,dylan XD!}
because this suspect has been labeled as one of the most bold gay person in Malaysian recorded history, our network had paid HEAVILY, namely 20 hi-def limited edition porn tapes to hire a *specialist* to deal with the matter.he is with us now.
Dylan : I'm Dylan.they call me a superhero.You know why?i rid the world of gays.they're just so gay they make me sick.i have special ways of dealing with
them,and they wont like it.
Tohsui : ahhhh wonder what hes gonna do to me !
Yengzai : cut off you **** cuz u dont deserve one,or drown you in a pot of gay blood,or throw you in a gay jail with other gay people, or worst.Force you to watch gay TV shows llike teletubbies
Tohsui : *girly scream*
Yengzai :or force you to watch gay ****
Tohsui : *faints* im to manly to freaking watch this kind of things !
Yengzai :who call you.**** people's **** in public
Tohsui : it was an accident !
Yengzai : yeah. accident of horniness
Tohsui : I'm not gay !
Yengzai: yes, you are
Tohsui: no, im not
Yengzai: yes, you are
Tohsui: no, im not
Yengzai: yes, you are
Tohsui: no, im not
Yengzai: yes, you are
Tohsui: no, im not
Yengzai: yes, you are
Tohsui: no, im not
Yengzai : it's your problem.settle it.yourself.
Tohsui: what kind of frens are u people !
suddenly DYLAN GAYHUNTER stroms in the room.
Dylan : WHERE"S THE GAY ??! I'LL FU**ING RIP HIS ARSE OFF !
Everyone points at Tohsui
Tohui hugs his arse and cries.
Dylan : CRYING MAKES YOU GAYER ! I"LL F**KING RIP YOUR EYEBROWS OFF ! ONE BY ONE !
Tohsui : why can't i just shav it off?
Dylan : SHAVING IS GAY ! PLUCKING IS MANLY ! *ROAR !*
Tohsui :i didn't do it ! it was an accident ! i fell on his **** cuz got stone !
Dylan : why didn't you say so?
*dylan leaves*
everyone : ZHADAO
nooooottt funnnyyyy
**EVENING NEWS**
this just in on TDKBernama,there's a gay molester on the loose, even to the extent of groping one of our reporters.we advise the public to be careful of this predator. HE IS GAY AND DANGEROUS.his true identity is not yet known.we advise all citizens to be careful.
**Picture of Tohsui on one of his tohsui days and words saying GAY & DANGEROUS.BEWARE! **
yengzai and tohsui at tohsui's house.
Yengzai : wow, tohsui,looks like you have to change your name and disfigure your face by putting fireworks up your nose or something.how you see people like this?
Sozai : what is molester? y news got wan?
Yengzai : like your good korkor tohsui, good looking, nice , smart, kind, ma call molester lor.
Sozai : i wan be molester oso ! so i can be on the news and everyone look up to me !
Tohsui : ....not funny guys.
** SPECIAL NEWS UPDATE **
{guest star,dylan XD!}
because this suspect has been labeled as one of the most bold gay person in Malaysian recorded history, our network had paid HEAVILY, namely 20 hi-def limited edition porn tapes to hire a *specialist* to deal with the matter.he is with us now.
Dylan : I'm Dylan.they call me a superhero.You know why?i rid the world of gays.they're just so gay they make me sick.i have special ways of dealing with
them,and they wont like it.
Tohsui : ahhhh wonder what hes gonna do to me !
Yengzai : cut off you **** cuz u dont deserve one,or drown you in a pot of gay blood,or throw you in a gay jail with other gay people, or worst.Force you to watch gay TV shows llike teletubbies
Tohsui : *girly scream*
Yengzai :or force you to watch gay ****
Tohsui : *faints* im to manly to freaking watch this kind of things !
Yengzai :who call you.**** people's **** in public
Tohsui : it was an accident !
Yengzai : yeah. accident of horniness
Tohsui : I'm not gay !
Yengzai: yes, you are
Tohsui: no, im not
Yengzai: yes, you are
Tohsui: no, im not
Yengzai: yes, you are
Tohsui: no, im not
Yengzai: yes, you are
Tohsui: no, im not
Yengzai: yes, you are
Tohsui: no, im not
Yengzai : it's your problem.settle it.yourself.
Tohsui: what kind of frens are u people !
suddenly DYLAN GAYHUNTER stroms in the room.
Dylan : WHERE"S THE GAY ??! I'LL FU**ING RIP HIS ARSE OFF !
Everyone points at Tohsui
Tohui hugs his arse and cries.
Dylan : CRYING MAKES YOU GAYER ! I"LL F**KING RIP YOUR EYEBROWS OFF ! ONE BY ONE !
Tohsui : why can't i just shav it off?
Dylan : SHAVING IS GAY ! PLUCKING IS MANLY ! *ROAR !*
Tohsui :i didn't do it ! it was an accident ! i fell on his **** cuz got stone !
Dylan : why didn't you say so?
*dylan leaves*
everyone : ZHADAO
nooooottt funnnyyyy
Thursday, February 4, 2010
GAY dangerous EP 2 - a tv interview and a little bit of tohsui
oooo tv3 reporters are interviewing students after school.naturally, glory hog yengzai was the first one to be interviewed.
Q: what are you views if caning is reintroduced into secondary school?
A: school cane me, my mother cane me, prison cane my father....caning?! good la.training from young ma
Q: which city do you think Malaysia should host the commonwealth games in?
A : city? i don't know any city.i only know City Norhaliza, Honda City, denCity and univerCity. commonwealth? mat7 lei geh?
Q: what are your views on global warming?
A: warming? SOOO lan7 hot u say WARMING ?! no global warming,only global hotting.yes,global hotting very hot.I'm sweating.wan to die edi.
Q: what problems do you have with the current education system?
A: problem ah.the only problem wif the education system is the education system lor.no system,no problem. 9 dim.
Q: do you think proper education is the way to success?
A: who need education wor.xian zai she me shi dai still education.you think like last time meh.our technology is so advanced now.You dunno got something called magnum de meh?its risk free and easy to win money.education is for people that gen bu shang the trends only need education.pro people,buy pao beh.
Q: do you think gangsterism is a major problem?
A: gangster?oh,you mean brothers is it.If having yeng yeng fren is a problem,the prime minister brain oso got problem.u dunno what means the more the merrier meh? go out must bring big big gang wan.then oni can happy yi xia ma.small small gang,like chicken thief only,even to retards oso suspicious la.
Q: how about vandalism?
A: when man invented pen,it is to record our thoughts.now ah,we got highliter ah,marker ah,liquid paper ah,ham blang hi-tech things.of cos,when we write down our thoughts,we want people to feel our pain and happiness mah.so conteng inside toilet, its like BLOGGING ! no difference wan.you want people to know what our thoughts ma.
Q: we don't see great works of literature in vandals.
A: haiya, u noe onot,the shorter it is,the more meaning it has!so toilet there say fuck la,it actually means Free Underwear Call Kenny. see? sometimes got picture also.only hamsap people will interpret the picture as explict and indecent.its actually great art u know ? chin cai 1 oso better than mona lisa.our country oso got alot da vinci.but our citizen too poor,no money buy canvas,conteng on wall lor.
Q:your views and opinions have been of great depth.
A: are you insulting me?
then....
tohsui saw yengzai.
Tohsui : HEY ! YENGGGG ZAIII !
yengzai : OI TOHSUI ! DONT COME HERE AH ! U KNOW U TOHSUI WAN AH ! MOUUU AHH!
*tohsui continues waving cuz he didnt hear anything*
then....
he slipped on a stone and planted his face um,lets say, below the belt of a male reporter,IN FRONT.
Reporter : nyaaaiiiirrrghh ! *girly scream*
Yengzai : tohsui u ***** ! look wht you've DONE ! going around public planting your face in people's ***** !!
tohsui : mmmph ~!
To BE CONTINUED :::::
Q: what are you views if caning is reintroduced into secondary school?
A: school cane me, my mother cane me, prison cane my father....caning?! good la.training from young ma
Q: which city do you think Malaysia should host the commonwealth games in?
A : city? i don't know any city.i only know City Norhaliza, Honda City, denCity and univerCity. commonwealth? mat7 lei geh?
Q: what are your views on global warming?
A: warming? SOOO lan7 hot u say WARMING ?! no global warming,only global hotting.yes,global hotting very hot.I'm sweating.wan to die edi.
Q: what problems do you have with the current education system?
A: problem ah.the only problem wif the education system is the education system lor.no system,no problem. 9 dim.
Q: do you think proper education is the way to success?
A: who need education wor.xian zai she me shi dai still education.you think like last time meh.our technology is so advanced now.You dunno got something called magnum de meh?its risk free and easy to win money.education is for people that gen bu shang the trends only need education.pro people,buy pao beh.
Q: do you think gangsterism is a major problem?
A: gangster?oh,you mean brothers is it.If having yeng yeng fren is a problem,the prime minister brain oso got problem.u dunno what means the more the merrier meh? go out must bring big big gang wan.then oni can happy yi xia ma.small small gang,like chicken thief only,even to retards oso suspicious la.
Q: how about vandalism?
A: when man invented pen,it is to record our thoughts.now ah,we got highliter ah,marker ah,liquid paper ah,ham blang hi-tech things.of cos,when we write down our thoughts,we want people to feel our pain and happiness mah.so conteng inside toilet, its like BLOGGING ! no difference wan.you want people to know what our thoughts ma.
Q: we don't see great works of literature in vandals.
A: haiya, u noe onot,the shorter it is,the more meaning it has!so toilet there say fuck la,it actually means Free Underwear Call Kenny. see? sometimes got picture also.only hamsap people will interpret the picture as explict and indecent.its actually great art u know ? chin cai 1 oso better than mona lisa.our country oso got alot da vinci.but our citizen too poor,no money buy canvas,conteng on wall lor.
Q:your views and opinions have been of great depth.
A: are you insulting me?
then....
tohsui saw yengzai.
Tohsui : HEY ! YENGGGG ZAIII !
yengzai : OI TOHSUI ! DONT COME HERE AH ! U KNOW U TOHSUI WAN AH ! MOUUU AHH!
*tohsui continues waving cuz he didnt hear anything*
then....
he slipped on a stone and planted his face um,lets say, below the belt of a male reporter,IN FRONT.
Reporter : nyaaaiiiirrrghh ! *girly scream*
Yengzai : tohsui u ***** ! look wht you've DONE ! going around public planting your face in people's ***** !!
tohsui : mmmph ~!
To BE CONTINUED :::::
Monday, February 1, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
G.A.Y dangerous ep1-puberty
first episode of g.a.y dangerous.sometimes guest characters will be introduced.here are the main stars/
tohsui
nice fellow.just very unlucky
yengzai
cool,popular and mean.kinda like house m.d. has no manners or
morals.if youre fat and ugly and dont know that yet,when u come within 10m of him,you will.
"fucking fugly girl !right there!"
sozai
very stupid.but belives being bu ci xia wen can make him smart.
sozai is reaching that age that boys turn into men.
tohsui: sozai ah sozai.this is the time when hair will grow on you in places that should not have hair.
sozai:you mean like michael jackson in thriller?
tohsui:no.you will also have scary changes in your body
sozai:you mean like michael jackson in thriller?
tohsui: .... you will oso start to notice girls.
sozai:i know! i know ! its somthing like wearing glasses rite?so can c them clearly.
tohsui : speachless
tohsui
nice fellow.just very unlucky
yengzai
cool,popular and mean.kinda like house m.d. has no manners or
morals.if youre fat and ugly and dont know that yet,when u come within 10m of him,you will.
"fucking fugly girl !right there!"
sozai
very stupid.but belives being bu ci xia wen can make him smart.
sozai is reaching that age that boys turn into men.
tohsui: sozai ah sozai.this is the time when hair will grow on you in places that should not have hair.
sozai:you mean like michael jackson in thriller?
tohsui:no.you will also have scary changes in your body
sozai:you mean like michael jackson in thriller?
tohsui: .... you will oso start to notice girls.
sozai:i know! i know ! its somthing like wearing glasses rite?so can c them clearly.
tohsui : speachless
马来西亚。。我的国家。。。my country..MALAIXIA...
马来西亚。。。Malaysia...my country...since singapore away fr us..haha... we uses de name malaysia... 马来西亚。。XD
马来西亚。。in chinese readin is malaixiya...in hokkien is malai( means malay) si ya!!!(means mati)...
COOL NAME RITE?? I wonder which genius created dis wonderful name...
~i luv my country~
马来西亚。。in chinese readin is malaixiya...in hokkien is malai( means malay) si ya!!!(means mati)...
COOL NAME RITE?? I wonder which genius created dis wonderful name...
~i luv my country~
Friday, January 29, 2010
Why men are happier people?
NICKNAMES:
- If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
- If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT:
- When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS:
- A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
- The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE:
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS:
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE:
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP:
- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
- A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL:
- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
- Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
- A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Now you know.......
-from laikepo
~AbYsSkNiGhTs
- If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
- If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT:
- When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS:
- A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
- The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE:
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS:
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE:
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP:
- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
- A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL:
- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
- Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
- A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Now you know.......
-from laikepo
~AbYsSkNiGhTs
Monday, January 25, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
terms and conditions.ah.the fineprint
this is a comedy blog right?there"ll be a joke about t and c soon.but this is the real thing.
1.by reading this blog and all related posts,blogs,groups and works you are relieved of all rights to sue,detain,arrest,fine or any other punishment or whatsoever
2.all works are fictional and thought up.reader discretion advised.any emotion in the making\caused by my posts are purely unintentional.sensitive readers are advised to avoid this blog.hatred ,vengeance and other negative emotions portrayed by the writers are imaginary and made up.no real anger involved.
3. works may contain offensive material that should be discredited.
4.all works are fictional.subjects mentioned are thought up and imaginary.any relations with any person living or dead is purely coincidential.
5.i respect all teachers.its not an easy job.
6.non of our works can be trusted.(except this)and we may be lying
7.writers not liable to any punishment at all.read the blog at your own risk.you can always choose not to.
1.by reading this blog and all related posts,blogs,groups and works you are relieved of all rights to sue,detain,arrest,fine or any other punishment or whatsoever
2.all works are fictional and thought up.reader discretion advised.any emotion in the making\caused by my posts are purely unintentional.sensitive readers are advised to avoid this blog.hatred ,vengeance and other negative emotions portrayed by the writers are imaginary and made up.no real anger involved.
3. works may contain offensive material that should be discredited.
4.all works are fictional.subjects mentioned are thought up and imaginary.any relations with any person living or dead is purely coincidential.
5.i respect all teachers.its not an easy job.
6.non of our works can be trusted.(except this)and we may be lying
7.writers not liable to any punishment at all.read the blog at your own risk.you can always choose not to.
Friday, January 22, 2010
NIAMAH ! i tell u ah....(extended)
teachers.why do they send these underqualified numbnuts to teach us students?sooo hard to find an excellent teacher these days.heck, hard to even find a teacher that can even make a proper english sentence.if you can't speak good english,my confidence for you plummets.here are some examples why some teachers,really, so F***ed UP STUPID !
teaching physics.greaaatt.we can't hear you dumbshit. 1: you're mumbling crap in broken english and you talk like this : 2.the.power.of.8.it.not....you cant pronounce 's',you end EVERY WORD with a fullstop, you're spitting saliva everywhere,your tenses are wrong.
for example.
'class.are.you.understand.?'
no,dumbass. my name's not understand. i'm dave beckham
'if.you.are.nutt.understand.plis.see.me.in.my.offitsce.'
no prob, teach. just one small problem tho.your office wil be a little crowded.you see,i think there are 6.6 billion people that are not understand.
hmmm.math formula.simple power base changing.wow.made a mistake.small one.like using the wrong formula on the wrong question.we all do that,dont we?her great reply (obviously an attempt to save whatever dignity she has left)was:
i .want. to. see. if.you.can.spot.my.mistake.
yea rite.like we believe that.maybe we would if you weren"t smiling sheepishly and have that funy look on your face saying "HUH???!!y salah?"
spelling errors.dont get me started.the teacher scribles "the important of blabla...." on the board.
no lah.i"m very sure its not "important".its "import" oni larh.
thx to our outstanding classmates.the teacher eventually noticed her mistake and agreeds that it should be "importance"instead.
we all noticed what an avid learner she is when she promtly corrected it to "importants"
my fav.suku kata reading.
kelas.ta.ke.ouwt.yeor.sai.tekbuk
like i said before.the s sound is lost somewhere in the crooked teeth.maybe some weird echolation and audio dynamics makes the s sound inaudible to humans?
ok lah cikgu.bring out my sai textbook lor.u want the textbook i made myself with a major stomachache last night,the one teaching shit,or the one thats ABOUT shit?
AXiS
teaching physics.greaaatt.we can't hear you dumbshit. 1: you're mumbling crap in broken english and you talk like this : 2.the.power.of.8.it.not....you cant pronounce 's',you end EVERY WORD with a fullstop, you're spitting saliva everywhere,your tenses are wrong.
for example.
'class.are.you.understand.?'
no,dumbass. my name's not understand. i'm dave beckham
'if.you.are.nutt.understand.plis.see.me.in.my.offitsce.'
no prob, teach. just one small problem tho.your office wil be a little crowded.you see,i think there are 6.6 billion people that are not understand.
hmmm.math formula.simple power base changing.wow.made a mistake.small one.like using the wrong formula on the wrong question.we all do that,dont we?her great reply (obviously an attempt to save whatever dignity she has left)was:
i .want. to. see. if.you.can.spot.my.mistake.
yea rite.like we believe that.maybe we would if you weren"t smiling sheepishly and have that funy look on your face saying "HUH???!!y salah?"
spelling errors.dont get me started.the teacher scribles "the important of blabla...." on the board.
no lah.i"m very sure its not "important".its "import" oni larh.
thx to our outstanding classmates.the teacher eventually noticed her mistake and agreeds that it should be "importance"instead.
we all noticed what an avid learner she is when she promtly corrected it to "importants"
my fav.suku kata reading.
kelas.ta.ke.ouwt.yeor.sai.tekbuk
like i said before.the s sound is lost somewhere in the crooked teeth.maybe some weird echolation and audio dynamics makes the s sound inaudible to humans?
ok lah cikgu.bring out my sai textbook lor.u want the textbook i made myself with a major stomachache last night,the one teaching shit,or the one thats ABOUT shit?
AXiS
Monday, January 18, 2010
Awkward Moments
do you know those times you feel RELI RELI arkward?don't no what to do?can't voice out your opinion?afraid to be judged? here are some examples and how to solve them
1:walking behind a couple
-this really makes you go o0o.the walk RELI RELI slow,and you can't cut past them.Worst, you gotta pee. you're in a hurry.It's rude to say 'fuck off !',and when you're on the stairs, you're always at butt-level.you cant get too close,and..you cant get too far.you're in a hurry ,remember? your mind wanders and you start comparing their butts.ewww.YOUR FACE IS AT THEIR BUTT LEVEL.what if one of them had beans?
solution?grab the hand of the person beside you and shove it against the girl's ass.it'll giv you enough distraction to walk past them to freedom.
2:bad timing for a dirty joke
-ok,you see your friends in the distance.you hear what seems to be dirty words and they're laughing.youjump in the conversation and add a few dirty bombshell jokes yourself.........then you notice it's weird the way they're looking at you.opps, apparently,they'e weren't even telling a dirty joke in the first place.grats.you taught a bunch of nerds 200 bad words in various languages.(you know 1000)
solution?huh.i thought teaching nerds bad stuff is a good thing?
3: pic stealing/Falking
-ah,which guy don't like to kau lui?to get that gaming 'edge'( FREE ITEMS FROM STUPID GUYS ) in maple,you decide to stalk around in facebook(or,a word i invented, falking) searching for a HOT,HOT girl's pic to use to con/scam.whats awkward is, the picture of the girl you took is using that exact same picture and playing the exact same game and you're exposed as a gay, fag, sissy, pussy, girly boy,pedo, herma,bi...whatever bad sexism insults.
solution?quit maple and be friends with bookworms that say,玩电脑啊，害死你呀.
AXis
1:walking behind a couple
-this really makes you go o0o.the walk RELI RELI slow,and you can't cut past them.Worst, you gotta pee. you're in a hurry.It's rude to say 'fuck off !',and when you're on the stairs, you're always at butt-level.you cant get too close,and..you cant get too far.you're in a hurry ,remember? your mind wanders and you start comparing their butts.ewww.YOUR FACE IS AT THEIR BUTT LEVEL.what if one of them had beans?
solution?grab the hand of the person beside you and shove it against the girl's ass.it'll giv you enough distraction to walk past them to freedom.
2:bad timing for a dirty joke
-ok,you see your friends in the distance.you hear what seems to be dirty words and they're laughing.youjump in the conversation and add a few dirty bombshell jokes yourself.........then you notice it's weird the way they're looking at you.opps, apparently,they'e weren't even telling a dirty joke in the first place.grats.you taught a bunch of nerds 200 bad words in various languages.(you know 1000)
solution?huh.i thought teaching nerds bad stuff is a good thing?
3: pic stealing/Falking
-ah,which guy don't like to kau lui?to get that gaming 'edge'( FREE ITEMS FROM STUPID GUYS ) in maple,you decide to stalk around in facebook(or,a word i invented, falking) searching for a HOT,HOT girl's pic to use to con/scam.whats awkward is, the picture of the girl you took is using that exact same picture and playing the exact same game and you're exposed as a gay, fag, sissy, pussy, girly boy,pedo, herma,bi...whatever bad sexism insults.
solution?quit maple and be friends with bookworms that say,玩电脑啊，害死你呀.
AXis
Sunday, January 17, 2010
only in malaysia
What do foreign investors face when they come to Malaysia? How do they overcome the government bureaucracy and the many rules imposed on foreign investors? Imagine this typical scene in a government department when a movie producer tries to get approval to shoot a documentary in Malaysia.
" a conversation between a foreigner and a Malaysian officer"
Excuse me, but I’m wondering if you could help me.
Tengok itu. (The officer points to a sign on the wall that says: GUNAKAN BAHASA MALAYSIA).
I’m sorry. I don’t understand.
Mesti guna Bahasa Malaysia.
I’m sorry, but I’m an American. I don’t understand the local language.
Must use Bahasa Malaysia. Not American language. I cannot speak American.
But we don’t have an American language. We speak English.
Oh. Why don’t you get your Bumiputera partner to come if you cannot speak Bahasa Malaysia?
I don’t have a Bumiputera partner.
How can? All foreign companies that do business in Malaysia must have Bumiputera partner.
But we are not doing business in Malaysia. We do business in America. I am here to find out how to get a permit to shoot a documentary in Malaysia. We are a movie company.
Oh. You want to make a movie in Malaysia. Very good. Malaysia has plenty of history and culture. Good place to make a movie. You must show the Twin Towers and the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in your movie.
No, it is not that kind of documentary. We are making a documentary about the murder of Altantuya Shaariibuu.
Aiyah! Cannot mention that name. That name banned.
Banned?
Yes. Government ban anyone mentioning the name Altantuya.
Oh. Then how do we address that?
I don’t know her address. Maybe you ask the Mongolian Embassy.
No, I don’t mean her address. How do we solve the problem of her name?
Altantuya Shaariibuu can’t be used. But you can use Aminah Abdullah. That name not banned by government.
Okay then. I want to make a documentary about the brutal murder of Aminah Abdullah.
That one okay. Government can approve. But you must also show the Twin Towers and the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in your movie.
But those have nothing to do with the documentary. The documentary is about the murder of Altan..
Ah, ah, ah.
Sorry, I mean Aminah Abdullah.
Why you can’t also show the Twin Towers and the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in your movie?
Okay, maybe I can show some clips of the Twin Towers and the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in the documentary.
Good. But must show the Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur okay? Cannot show in Melaka like that Sean Connery movie, Entrapment. Our PM was very angry. He said the foreigners distort the truth.
Okay. The Twin Towers will be shown in KL.
And also the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region.
Okay, I will also show the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in KL.
No, the Penang Bridge is in Penang and the Iskandar Development Region is in Johor.
Okay, I will take note of that.
And what about the songs?
Songs?
Yes, must show some local songs.
But this is a documentary about the murder of Al.
Ah, ah, ah.
Aminah Abdullah.
But can still show some local songs even if the story is about a murder. You must show Siti Nurhaliza singing. At least two songs.
Okay, we shall show City what’s her name.
Siti Nurhaliza.
City Nurlaziha singing
Nurhaliza.
Nurhaliza singing two songs.
Good, good. And what about Umno history?
Umno history?
Yes, must show Umno history and how Umno fought for Merdeka from the British.
But what’s that got to do with the murder?
You must show Umno history and how Umno fought for Merdeka. If not government can’t approve.
Okay, I shall show the Umno history and how Umno fought for. fought for.
Merdeka.
Merdeka from the British.
Good. And don’t forget to also include the new PM’s speech.
New PM’s speech?
Yes, Najib Tun Razak.
What has his speech got to do with the movie?
Must show. Must show new PM declare he never met that Mongolian woman.
You mean Aminah Abdullah?
No, PM just said he never met that Mongolian woman. He never mention any name. Must show that speech in the movie.
Okay, we will show that as well.. Do I take it if I agree to all those terms I can get permission from the Malaysian government to shoot the documentary in Malaysia?
You got Bumiputera partner?
No.
Must have Bumiputera partner. See list here. You must choose one Bumiputera partner from this list.
Okay, I will choose a Bumiputera partner from this list.
And must give 70% contract to local Bumiputera companies.
I don’t understand. What contracts?
70% of your work must be done by Bumiputera companies.
But we don’t need local participation. We shall be bringing our entire crew from the States.
But make sure not from Pakatan states. That one government can’t approve.
Pakatan states?
Yes. Penang, Selangor, Kedah and Kelantan.
No, I mean our entire crew will be brought in from the United States of America.
Cannot. Must have 70% local. Only 30% from America.
Okay, I will try to squeeze that requirement in.
And which state you want Datuk?
Excuse me. I don’t get that.
You make movie about Malaysia you can get Datuk.. Which state you want? Can choose.
Oh, I don’t think I’m interested in Datuk, whatever that is.
Aiyah, people pay RM250,000 for Datuk. Why you don’t want? You make movie on Malaysia can get Datuk free. No need pay RM250,000.
Okay, throw in the Datuk for free then.
Okay, we will arrange Melaka Datuk for you. Where you shoot the movie?
In Selangor.
Aiyah, Selangor cannot. That is Pakatan state. Choose another state.
But the murder happened in Selangor so we need to shoot the documentary where the murder happened.
Selangor cannot. If Pakatan state, government cannot approve. You shoot in Melaka. Melaka very historical.
Okay, okay, we’ll go along with what you want. Is there anything else I need to know?
When you launch movie the First Lady must be invited.
The Queen?
No, not Queen. Rosmah Mansor.
Will she come to the premier?
Of course. If Shahrukh Khan go, she will go.
But Shahrukh Khan is not in the documentary.
Why not? He is very popular in Malaysia and First Lady like him. He also got Melaka Datuk like you. Must show him in movie.
Look, can I come back to you on that? We shall have to decide whether we still want to shoot this documentary in Malaysia.
No problem. When you already decide you come again to see me. We welcome all movie companies to Malaysia and will extend our cooperation and help you. Foreigners always welcome in Malaysia.
LOL............
-from laikepo
~AbYsSkNiGhTs
" a conversation between a foreigner and a Malaysian officer"
Excuse me, but I’m wondering if you could help me.
Tengok itu. (The officer points to a sign on the wall that says: GUNAKAN BAHASA MALAYSIA).
I’m sorry. I don’t understand.
Mesti guna Bahasa Malaysia.
I’m sorry, but I’m an American. I don’t understand the local language.
Must use Bahasa Malaysia. Not American language. I cannot speak American.
But we don’t have an American language. We speak English.
Oh. Why don’t you get your Bumiputera partner to come if you cannot speak Bahasa Malaysia?
I don’t have a Bumiputera partner.
How can? All foreign companies that do business in Malaysia must have Bumiputera partner.
But we are not doing business in Malaysia. We do business in America. I am here to find out how to get a permit to shoot a documentary in Malaysia. We are a movie company.
Oh. You want to make a movie in Malaysia. Very good. Malaysia has plenty of history and culture. Good place to make a movie. You must show the Twin Towers and the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in your movie.
No, it is not that kind of documentary. We are making a documentary about the murder of Altantuya Shaariibuu.
Aiyah! Cannot mention that name. That name banned.
Banned?
Yes. Government ban anyone mentioning the name Altantuya.
Oh. Then how do we address that?
I don’t know her address. Maybe you ask the Mongolian Embassy.
No, I don’t mean her address. How do we solve the problem of her name?
Altantuya Shaariibuu can’t be used. But you can use Aminah Abdullah. That name not banned by government.
Okay then. I want to make a documentary about the brutal murder of Aminah Abdullah.
That one okay. Government can approve. But you must also show the Twin Towers and the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in your movie.
But those have nothing to do with the documentary. The documentary is about the murder of Altan..
Ah, ah, ah.
Sorry, I mean Aminah Abdullah.
Why you can’t also show the Twin Towers and the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in your movie?
Okay, maybe I can show some clips of the Twin Towers and the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in the documentary.
Good. But must show the Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur okay? Cannot show in Melaka like that Sean Connery movie, Entrapment. Our PM was very angry. He said the foreigners distort the truth.
Okay. The Twin Towers will be shown in KL.
And also the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region.
Okay, I will also show the Penang Bridge and the Iskandar Development Region in KL.
No, the Penang Bridge is in Penang and the Iskandar Development Region is in Johor.
Okay, I will take note of that.
And what about the songs?
Songs?
Yes, must show some local songs.
But this is a documentary about the murder of Al.
Ah, ah, ah.
Aminah Abdullah.
But can still show some local songs even if the story is about a murder. You must show Siti Nurhaliza singing. At least two songs.
Okay, we shall show City what’s her name.
Siti Nurhaliza.
City Nurlaziha singing
Nurhaliza.
Nurhaliza singing two songs.
Good, good. And what about Umno history?
Umno history?
Yes, must show Umno history and how Umno fought for Merdeka from the British.
But what’s that got to do with the murder?
You must show Umno history and how Umno fought for Merdeka. If not government can’t approve.
Okay, I shall show the Umno history and how Umno fought for. fought for.
Merdeka.
Merdeka from the British.
Good. And don’t forget to also include the new PM’s speech.
New PM’s speech?
Yes, Najib Tun Razak.
What has his speech got to do with the movie?
Must show. Must show new PM declare he never met that Mongolian woman.
You mean Aminah Abdullah?
No, PM just said he never met that Mongolian woman. He never mention any name. Must show that speech in the movie.
Okay, we will show that as well.. Do I take it if I agree to all those terms I can get permission from the Malaysian government to shoot the documentary in Malaysia?
You got Bumiputera partner?
No.
Must have Bumiputera partner. See list here. You must choose one Bumiputera partner from this list.
Okay, I will choose a Bumiputera partner from this list.
And must give 70% contract to local Bumiputera companies.
I don’t understand. What contracts?
70% of your work must be done by Bumiputera companies.
But we don’t need local participation. We shall be bringing our entire crew from the States.
But make sure not from Pakatan states. That one government can’t approve.
Pakatan states?
Yes. Penang, Selangor, Kedah and Kelantan.
No, I mean our entire crew will be brought in from the United States of America.
Cannot. Must have 70% local. Only 30% from America.
Okay, I will try to squeeze that requirement in.
And which state you want Datuk?
Excuse me. I don’t get that.
You make movie about Malaysia you can get Datuk.. Which state you want? Can choose.
Oh, I don’t think I’m interested in Datuk, whatever that is.
Aiyah, people pay RM250,000 for Datuk. Why you don’t want? You make movie on Malaysia can get Datuk free. No need pay RM250,000.
Okay, throw in the Datuk for free then.
Okay, we will arrange Melaka Datuk for you. Where you shoot the movie?
In Selangor.
Aiyah, Selangor cannot. That is Pakatan state. Choose another state.
But the murder happened in Selangor so we need to shoot the documentary where the murder happened.
Selangor cannot. If Pakatan state, government cannot approve. You shoot in Melaka. Melaka very historical.
Okay, okay, we’ll go along with what you want. Is there anything else I need to know?
When you launch movie the First Lady must be invited.
The Queen?
No, not Queen. Rosmah Mansor.
Will she come to the premier?
Of course. If Shahrukh Khan go, she will go.
But Shahrukh Khan is not in the documentary.
Why not? He is very popular in Malaysia and First Lady like him. He also got Melaka Datuk like you. Must show him in movie.
Look, can I come back to you on that? We shall have to decide whether we still want to shoot this documentary in Malaysia.
No problem. When you already decide you come again to see me. We welcome all movie companies to Malaysia and will extend our cooperation and help you. Foreigners always welcome in Malaysia.
LOL............
-from laikepo
~AbYsSkNiGhTs
Saturday, January 16, 2010
why teachers can't seem to punish me.
In life,there are many lessons to be learnt.however, there are only 2 that is really useful.the secret to a successful life is through the 2 holy grails of prosperity : Kissass and bullshit
these 2 'skills' are so flexible, it can be applied anywhere !
for example, getting out of punishment.
HM : why u didn't tuck in your shirt ?!
yengzai : nan bu huai,nu bu ai....its just one of the many stupid things i do for you....
hm: why your hair so spiky!
yengzai : ill do anything just for you to glace my way a second time
hm :why didnt you cut your finger nails?
yengzai : if i did, i wouldnt be here enjoying your voice,your grace,your scent....
hm : why are you so noisy? can"t keep quiet for 5 mins?
yengzai :five minutes without the sweetness of your name on my lips is enough to kill me.
hm : do you know smoking underage is against the law?
yengzai : no, not if its secondhand smoke from sizzling hot you
hm : falling asleep in class?tsk tsk
yengzai : i didnt sleep last night.if i did, i would dream of you again
hm : why your hair so long?
yengzai : i wanted it to be as silky and enchating as yours {gay}
see my point?
~AXIS
these 2 'skills' are so flexible, it can be applied anywhere !
for example, getting out of punishment.
HM : why u didn't tuck in your shirt ?!
yengzai : nan bu huai,nu bu ai....its just one of the many stupid things i do for you....
hm: why your hair so spiky!
yengzai : ill do anything just for you to glace my way a second time
hm :why didnt you cut your finger nails?
yengzai : if i did, i wouldnt be here enjoying your voice,your grace,your scent....
hm : why are you so noisy? can"t keep quiet for 5 mins?
yengzai :five minutes without the sweetness of your name on my lips is enough to kill me.
hm : do you know smoking underage is against the law?
yengzai : no, not if its secondhand smoke from sizzling hot you
hm : falling asleep in class?tsk tsk
yengzai : i didnt sleep last night.if i did, i would dream of you again
hm : why your hair so long?
yengzai : i wanted it to be as silky and enchating as yours {gay}
see my point?
~AXIS
Thursday, January 14, 2010
why our education system sux
Obviously.Our education system has its loopholes.few have the courage to exploit them. here's why.
xxxlou got caught with long hair by the HM and is heading to bilik disiplin
HM : do you know what you did wrong?
xxxlou:wa mana zai.wa beh hiao tia lu kong eh sai hua
HM : you cant speak english? you stupid or deaf ?
xxxlou : 自摸，独独两分，哩鼓哩鼓板分，将眼，白板，六肃。。。
HM : your mother didn't teach you about respect?! how can you be so rude ! ingkar arahan guru is punishable！you better respect me and don't talk back if you dont want to kena buang sekolah !
xxxlou :wa.i lion ah,hex oni finger a noob he str8 die.no need impale oso.noob dao...then hor, lycan on ulti and bs come ulti me oso wor,i ma kena diao lor.gua7 edi lor.then lycan out radiance.gg ! my team all noob.void feed nia.whole game oni thread.
HM :you leave me no choice.give me your parents' number
xxxlou : lei yew ngo hou ma? da bei ngo lou mou meh ! lei fei dou chi jek gai gam wor, but yuit wan dit si gan hoi gam fei la ! yat yat da da da, da lei lou mei meh !!
HM : you leave me no choice
xxxlou : answering POLITELY in a different language is not against the school rules.
leng..........
-AXIS
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)