I < 3 my school.how "sensible" can they get?

ah...school rules.Can't live with them,can't live without them ( PUI ! ).Some rules should be obeyed ,but most, live it to break it.Not because we're bad students,it's because it doesn't make any sense.Sometimes i want to give the teacher a slap asking : DO YOU HAVE ANY FCKING IDEA AT ALL WHAT THE FCKING HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT !!?? *eh hem* *coughs*

First off, banning of coloured contact lenses.

But, non-coloured is allowed. WHYYY ??!! bcoz its against the skool rulz lor. WHYYYYY ??!! *it's one of the secrets of the universe that cannot be revealed.* Here's a theory.Our teachers have been watching too much anime.They somehow believe that wearing coloured contacts will make students inherit the kekegenkai of the Hyuuga and Uchiha clan,giving them special powers like Sharingan and Byakkugan.In turn,the students will use this 'powers' to make new jutsu like Tsukuyomi , Reikei , 8 Trigrams 64 Palms , Ameterasu , Kaiten and everything which will shift the balance of power so the students can destroy the school.I believe this.100%.really.DAMN HIGH possibility of happening.

HAIR.
Can't wax, can't gel, can't be long, can't dye, can't botak either.
This is pure stereotyping and sexism. What do they have against our hair? It's not like it violates national security or anything.For all you know, they're gonna control our armpit hair too.....

"angkat tangan check ketiak"
"bulu ketiak panjang.pigi tengok Guru Besar.Kasi Potong bagi you."

ew....

now imagine a yam hai face, yam hai smile and yam hai eyes cheking for you

ew-er....

then,imagine if you're a girl

*faints*

back to topic.Some say having styled hair is not neat.What has my neatness got to do with you? And who are you to judge im not neat? Like your ngong gui nerd hairstyle is neat la.Some say it will damage the school's reputation.For what? busy-bodying over other people's hair?If thats not the reason, then its the stereotyping.Just like blondes are sluts, Muslims are terrorists, all muscular black guys are ex-cons and all Texas citizens cant talk straight.You see, we get angry if we're stereotyped.It's not fair.But.thats what we're putting up with.Everyone thinks if you have a punky hairstyle, you're involved with bad things.Like smoking, illegal racing, vice, drug dealings and all that.You see, in the first class of our school we have 10 styled hair students.We do our homework, we're polite to teachers, we help old ladies cross the road and we volunteer at orphanages to do their laundry. Teachers want to supress our creativity.Styling your hair is an expression of yourself.In the form of styling hair.

*ignore the above.i'm being senseless*

i hate it when the teachers go like this...

"HA? U DIS KIND OF HAIR CAN GO IN FIRST CLASS?!"

Next, no short pants. I understand the imposing of this rule on girls,but still....COME ON ! FOR BOYS ?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?! i have a suspicion that our female teachers are pedos....looking at sexy young boys' lengs....ewww.Only hamsap people will say something that's not very hamsap and turn it into something that society looks down and frown upon.seriously.WHAT HAVE THE GOT AGAINST SHORTS ?! *too much simpsons. Bart : "eat my shorts !"*

Speaking of pants.I freaking dulan that we can't bring stationaries to school.But, don't we need pens and pencils to write and all?nope.the school wants us to be superhuman.we are trained so that just by thinking,words appear on paper.Back to the point.

can't bring metal ruler.
-ok.....my metal ruler got rampas by the pengawas.I just don't get it.so i asked him : WHYYYYY??! he said: because you can't bring this to school. me: WHYYYY???!!! him : *no answer*. see? our schools decide to rampas your stuff.For fun.They seem to enjoy it.And its senseless.Some will say , the metal ruler is sharp, can be used as weapon, bla blahh.....*claps**clap* WOW ! I DIDN"T THINK OF THAT ! IT'S SUUUUCCCHHH A GOOD UNDENIABLE REASON.

obviously,that guy haven't met me yet.I'm a freaking ninja ,man.WEAPONS? ok, might as well rampas my pens and pencils. Can poke people eye ma.don't forget my books.They're hard and thick, can be used to pok people's head off.some skill patricioners in the art of book-kung-fu can even use it to slap. Hey, take my pants too. it can strangle my enemies. And uh, tables and chairs, forks, plates, chalk,blackboard,thumbtacks even the innocent drinking straw.We're being treated like prisoners. Come on. We are orang yang bertamadun. CIVILIZED. our education systems however thinks of us as cavemen.

Can't sit at anjung

lets get this straight.we can't walk on the corridor during recess, nor the padang ,nor the anjungs nor the stairwells, nor bilik guru ,nor the remote places in school.(e.g. surau, generator, bilik kebal , weather station etc. ) or even our own class.okay, why not just stuff 1.5k people in the canteen.I don't know about you,but i can't think of anywhere else that we are allowed in school.It's a great excuse to ponteng :

"cikgu, skolah mana pun kawasan larangan.Lebih baik aku pigi cc.sama markah penalti je.skolah pun kawasan larangan, cc juga sama"

maybe they want to push us until we learn how to fly.

Malaysia to export tv shows to South Korea

I think we have pretty creative people in the entertainment industry

and I'm sure we'd be able to come up with something that Koreans would like.

Besides, how difficult is it to write a storyline to cater for Korean tastes anyway?

All you need to do is make sure someone cries every 5 minutes

The hardest part, I think, is finding the type of actors that Koreans would enjoy watching.

We all know that Koreans are very used to their male actors looking like sissy girls and their female actresses looking like ghosts.

Finding suitable actors for the job in Malaysia is definitely not gonna be easy.

Surely, it is not gonna work if our version of Winter Sonata looks like this.

-douche bag-

G.A.Y Dangerous- GAY HUNT ! EP 3

after tohsui made his famous faceplant on the reporters,urhm, parts...he went screaming back to the news center

**EVENING NEWS**

this just in on TDKBernama,there's a gay molester on the loose, even to the extent of groping one of our reporters.we advise the public to be careful of this predator. HE IS GAY AND DANGEROUS.his true identity is not yet known.we advise all citizens to be careful.

**Picture of Tohsui on one of his tohsui days and words saying GAY & DANGEROUS.BEWARE! **

yengzai and tohsui at tohsui's house.

Yengzai : wow, tohsui,looks like you have to change your name and disfigure your face by putting fireworks up your nose or something.how you see people like this?

Sozai : what is molester? y news got wan?

Yengzai : like your good korkor tohsui, good looking, nice , smart, kind, ma call molester lor.

Sozai : i wan be molester oso ! so i can be on the news and everyone look up to me !

Tohsui : ....not funny guys.

** SPECIAL NEWS UPDATE **

{guest star,dylan XD!}

because this suspect has been labeled as one of the most bold gay person in Malaysian recorded history, our network had paid HEAVILY, namely 20 hi-def limited edition porn tapes to hire a *specialist* to deal with the matter.he is with us now.

Dylan : I'm Dylan.they call me a superhero.You know why?i rid the world of gays.they're just so gay they make me sick.i have special ways of dealing with
them,and they wont like it.

Tohsui : ahhhh wonder what hes gonna do to me !

Yengzai : cut off you **** cuz u dont deserve one,or drown you in a pot of gay blood,or throw you in a gay jail with other gay people, or worst.Force you to watch gay TV shows llike teletubbies

Tohsui : *girly scream*

Yengzai :or force you to watch gay ****

Tohsui : *faints* im to manly to freaking watch this kind of things !

Yengzai :who call you.**** people's **** in public

Tohsui : it was an accident !

Yengzai : yeah. accident of horniness

Tohsui : I'm not gay !

Yengzai: yes, you are

Tohsui: no, im not

Yengzai: yes, you are

Tohsui: no, im not

Yengzai: yes, you are

Tohsui: no, im not

Yengzai: yes, you are

Tohsui: no, im not

Yengzai: yes, you are

Tohsui: no, im not

Yengzai : it's your problem.settle it.yourself.

Tohsui: what kind of frens are u people !

suddenly DYLAN GAYHUNTER stroms in the room.

Dylan : WHERE"S THE GAY ??! I'LL FU**ING RIP HIS ARSE OFF !

Everyone points at Tohsui

Tohui hugs his arse and cries.

Dylan : CRYING MAKES YOU GAYER ! I"LL F**KING RIP YOUR EYEBROWS OFF ! ONE BY ONE !

Tohsui : why can't i just shav it off?

Dylan : SHAVING IS GAY ! PLUCKING IS MANLY ! *ROAR !*

Tohsui :i didn't do it ! it was an accident ! i fell on his **** cuz got stone !

Dylan : why didn't you say so?

*dylan leaves*

everyone : ZHADAO

nooooottt funnnyyyy

GAY dangerous EP 2 - a tv interview and a little bit of tohsui

oooo tv3 reporters are interviewing students after school.naturally, glory hog yengzai was the first one to be interviewed.

Q: what are you views if caning is reintroduced into secondary school?
A: school cane me, my mother cane me, prison cane my father....caning?! good la.training from young ma

Q: which city do you think Malaysia should host the commonwealth games in?
A : city? i don't know any city.i only know City Norhaliza, Honda City, denCity and univerCity. commonwealth? mat7 lei geh?

Q: what are your views on global warming?
A: warming? SOOO lan7 hot u say WARMING ?! no global warming,only global hotting.yes,global hotting very hot.I'm sweating.wan to die edi.

Q: what problems do you have with the current education system?
A: problem ah.the only problem wif the education system is the education system lor.no system,no problem. 9 dim.

Q: do you think proper education is the way to success?
A: who need education wor.xian zai she me shi dai still education.you think like last time meh.our technology is so advanced now.You dunno got something called magnum de meh?its risk free and easy to win money.education is for people that gen bu shang the trends only need education.pro people,buy pao beh.

Q: do you think gangsterism is a major problem?
A: gangster?oh,you mean brothers is it.If having yeng yeng fren is a problem,the prime minister brain oso got problem.u dunno what means the more the merrier meh? go out must bring big big gang wan.then oni can happy yi xia ma.small small gang,like chicken thief only,even to retards oso suspicious la.

Q: how about vandalism?
A: when man invented pen,it is to record our thoughts.now ah,we got highliter ah,marker ah,liquid paper ah,ham blang hi-tech things.of cos,when we write down our thoughts,we want people to feel our pain and happiness mah.so conteng inside toilet, its like BLOGGING ! no difference wan.you want people to know what our thoughts ma.

Q: we don't see great works of literature in vandals.
A: haiya, u noe onot,the shorter it is,the more meaning it has!so toilet there say fuck la,it actually means Free Underwear Call Kenny. see? sometimes got picture also.only hamsap people will interpret the picture as explict and indecent.its actually great art u know ? chin cai 1 oso better than mona lisa.our country oso got alot da vinci.but our citizen too poor,no money buy canvas,conteng on wall lor.

Q:your views and opinions have been of great depth.
A: are you insulting me?

then....
tohsui saw yengzai.

Tohsui : HEY ! YENGGGG ZAIII !

yengzai : OI TOHSUI ! DONT COME HERE AH ! U KNOW U TOHSUI WAN AH ! MOUUU AHH!

*tohsui continues waving cuz he didnt hear anything*

then....

he slipped on a stone and planted his face um,lets say, below the belt of a male reporter,IN FRONT.

Reporter : nyaaaiiiirrrghh ! *girly scream*

Yengzai : tohsui u ***** ! look wht you've DONE ! going around public planting your face in people's ***** !!

tohsui : mmmph ~!

To BE CONTINUED :::::

well, he's right...